People usually seek me out because life doesn’t seem to be going their way. Relationships with co-workers, friends, family members, or perhaps just one particular relationship, seem to be filled with drama, one problem after another. Perhaps you’re lonely, eager to have a partnership that never seems to turn out the way you hoped. Maybe you’re aware that you’re struggling with low self-esteem, finding it hard to love or even like yourself. Some people struggle to get out of bed in the morning, unsure of their purpose or life’s purpose. For some, panic attacks or fears limit their comfort in the world. Maybe you have a secret that you think you could never tell anyone.
All of these issues are common to many, many people, and there is help. Psychotherapy with a trusted professional can bring the healing that you need to overcome the difficulties in your life and to help you learn the tools you need to navigate your life successfully and joyfully.
There’s No One More Important Than You
Some people will probably find the statement “There’s no one more important than you” to be unreasonable, if not downright egotistical. There was a time when I would have felt the same. But now I know that how we feel about and treat ourselves is directly related to how we treat and are treated by others.
Think about how attractive someone is when they exude confidence, self-assurance, and positivity. Everyone wants to be around them, with them, even be them, right? Of course! Unfortunately, feeling badly about ourselves interferes with our ability to be and/or to get what or who we desire in life. It limits us, making us feel ‘less than’ so we don’t even try, feeling sure we will fail because we aren’t good enough.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
The good news is that counseling can help. Recent research demonstrates that we can continue growing new neural pathways in our brain, enabling us to change our thoughts and behaviors. Newer therapies such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) have made possible quicker, less painful, and more complete recoveries from a variety of issues, including self-esteem challenges. It still takes plenty of work, but change is possible and psychotherapy can be very effective when you’re ready.
If you are an individual coping with trauma, please feel free to review the section on trauma, PTSD.
Relationship Counseling For People In Technology Industries
The pace of work and life in Silicon Valley is hectic, and the demands on our time and resources are too numerous to list. Too often we end up feeling depleted instead of energized. We don’t allow ourselves the time necessary to reflect and recharge.
Coming from an engineering background, and having worked in technology fields, I know first-hand how rewarding, satisfying, and challenging working in high-tech can be. I also know it can be socially isolating.
High-tech work often demands too much of our time, and the stresses particular to it can lead to a narrowing of interests. Additionally, primary social outlets are commonly work-related, making it difficult to maintain a current relationship or make new connections with others. This may lead you to have questions about how to improve your success in a relationship. For example, do you:
- Have trouble talking with someone you just met about your work without losing the other person (a non-techie) from the get-go?
- Wonder how to be more affectionate or expressive when that isn’t your style?
- Have trouble communicating with your current partner?
- Feel like you don’t fit in or even miss some social cues from time to time?
- Find it difficult to share your multiple interests and abilities with a partner?
Many of us were never shown good models of healthy relationships, and you may not recognize what gets in your way. Others of us may be scared away from social interactions by previous experiences we’ve had at school, home, or elsewhere.
Experiences such as not being accepted, being laughed at, having had critical or perfectionistic parents, traumatic experiences such as loss, immigration, and sexual or physical abuse can affect us subtly or dramatically, whether or not we’re consciously aware of these effects or their causes.
If solving these difficulties were as simple as learning something new today, you’d figure it out quickly. However, the more subtle influences over our lives can impact us more powerfully and can be very difficult to erase. Talking to an objective, knowledgeable professional can help you figure out what to do differently in relationships.
When You’re Serious About Change
People who benefit from therapy remove underlying fears, are able to implement various concrete solutions, feel more confident, and more capable individually and in relationships. They find they enjoy life more!
I’m here to help you decide what you want to change and find the easiest way to make those changes. Change is difficult. But if it’s become too painful to continue doing what you’ve been doing, the rewards of change can be far greater than you imagine.
I approach my work with an analytical mind and have worked very successfully with many people from technology-related fields. Please feel free to give me a call and leave a message with some good times to return your call. When we talk, I’ll ask you for a brief overview of why you’re seeking my services. Feel free to ask questions. If you wish, we’ll make an appointment right then. I look forward to hearing from you and helping create the change you desire.